Waiting Room

Stepping down from a pedestal that you have created yourself

Allows for others to walk with you

To stand by you

But sometimes you feel like life grows stagnant if they aren’t progressive

People who walk slow bug me

Because I forget to stop and enjoy the moment

To catch my breath

To not think

To not worry

To just be

Building up boundaries to protect yourself.

But you can crush others on the other side if you tear down walls too fast

Leaving yourself defenseless

A weakness presents itself

But you were the one who created it

Hid it from others to not gain entry

And forgot to check your blind spot as you revealed yourself

Not wanting to burden others who are ‘happy’

Who are ‘content’

Who have advanced more than you will ever be

Even for just that moment

Getting lost looking for ‘likes’ in a world that breaths in post mortums

Knowing that you are not alone

That your supports are their 24/7

Even when their partners are lying beside them

Holding them

Whispering to them ‘good night’ and ‘I love you’

I love you too

But I love me more

The middle child who always needed to humour oneself

To protect one’s own individuality

In a world full of constant “I” statements

Sometimes it feels like all I have is myself

Too scared to get too close to someone else

What if they don’t accept you?

How come they always do that thing that you don’t understand?

Why can’t you hold someone else’s hand?

Probably because you can’t wrap your head around the rational behind it

Looking over your shoulder constantly to make sure that no one is looking at you

But always glancing back to maybe think that he is glancing at you too

But they’re not

Or maybe you’re not looking at the ones who are looking at you

Maybe prison is the answer

Fuck the soap on the rope

And just love me

Love me for me

Hold me, but let me be free

Listen to me as I translate your story to my heart and brain

To try and cross lanes so that two worlds can collide

To make one

Maybe I will be single for life

And if that is the case I’ll just keep working at being me

Keeping a lookout for someone trying to look in

Waiting to hold my hand

To call me crazy

To write me a song

To hold me and tell me that it will all be okay

Even if it isn’t

And if it isn’t

Then I’ll still believe them

Maybe

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